Since I wrote last time lots has happened of the good things.
In the end of january (21-26) I went to London to meet with my MDST friends from Couchsurfing and celebrate Amandas Birthday. It was great to meet Brenda, Chris and Anick Marie again and it was wonderful to finally meet Amanda and Kalliope!
After this trip, I was in such good mood that it kinda reminded me of this song by Juan Luis Guerra
Una mujer
sin condicion
me dijo: sirvete de mi
lo que quieras.
Y tanto me servi
que hoy nubla mi razon.
No se si vivo fuera
o dentro de su corazon
ohhhohhhhohhhh
y tanto me servi
que hoy nubla mi razon
no se si vivo fuera
o dentro de su corazon
----------------------------
Translated
A woman
non-conditionally
told me: Serve yourself of me
all that you want.
And I served myself so much
that today my reasoning is clouded.
I dont know if I live outside
or inside her heart
ohhhohhhhohhhh
And I served myself so much
that today my reasoning is clouded.
I dont know if I live outside
or inside her heart
I have been working hard lately both at work also organizing things for my trip to Houston with work.
I know where Ill stay now (unless the damages after hurricane Ike are too big and we have to postpone the trip)
Residence Inn Houston Westchase on Westheimer
9965 Westheimer @ Elmside
Houston, Texas 77042 USA
Phone: 1-713-974-5454
My new home from week 40 will be the http://www.marriott.com/hotels/travel/houwt-residence-inn-houston-westchase-on-westheimer/
I also have to settle on the dates for my travel .. So awaiting weather reports and airports opening. For the moment my hotel is closed down with no opening date so next few days will be exiting.
The summer was a bit low for me after my initial period with lots of travels.
Now that fall is here.. I am really happy about how things sort out.
Work is great, actually work is more than great as Ill soon change from contracted to fixed employee and .. Ill get to travel for work. I could not be happier about this !
I will first go to Houston, Texas in USA for a month and half but then I will also be able to go to The Netherlands for some weeks working from the Zoetemeer office. How can this not be some of the best news ever ?
This last year as been high on personal development and I have gone through a lot of processes of self insight. It has been an interesting year as well as a, in periods, tough year. I have learned a lot.
I have, as i consider to be one of the most developing things, learned to dare to allow initmacy. Im not aiming the conversation in on sex here, but allowing people to give me hugs, to allow them to be close and to allow them to appreciate me without no further need for worrying about putting my feelings at risk of being hurt. And I speak of intimacy on a mental level. Allowing people I have met only a few days become part of my life story. To feel love for people I hardly know. To show love for my near and dear as well as my new friends I have gained this year. People that have painted my life to be more colorful and worthwhile.
It feels like I am waking up from a long period of hibernation, it feels like it is spring time even though fall is just starting. My soul is dancing with joy and exitement over this fall that is about to come and what life has expecting for me ! When I listen to music I want to step up and dance, to follow the rythms, to show the world I am happy. Guess that would look funny at work. *Chuckling*
4-6 weeks in Houston, 3 weeks in Netherlands, Christmas with family and the huge Couchsurfing party I am setting up hosting 110 people !!! I am exited about life, my friends and my work. I am surrounded by love from all those I meet and am surrounded by.
I talked to a friend about these thoughts yesterday and she mentioned a thing for me that I think might be true. We were talking about a completely different, but a lot more personal, matter, but it can sum up here too. I have had many years of social and personal draught without further specification, burying myself in work. I am waking up now and she said something very possible. I liked her comment. but you know - everything in life equals out, so you have some really fat years to come :D
I am looking fwd for the next years to come, I am looking fwd for the rest of my life !
Another thing that got me thinking lately ..
I volunteer to do a lot of work for Couchsurfing.com and recently I got in touch with a mom that has lost her son in an accident last year beceause she wanted to come in touch with her sons friends and as I was handling this case.
When the contact between her and the friends was established I wasnt able to leave the communication as a solved case. I felt a special connection with her and that I had to continue writing her.
Some of you know already that my intuition can be pretty strong. Offering to be there for her was never an option. I had to do it. A voice in my heart was screaming out write to her, write to her.
Her response to my offer was astonishing and left me with tears in my eyes. In case you read this Lucy, you reached out to my soul too !
We have after this continued to write and we have written about feelings about loss and grief, life and love and it has made me think a lot these last days.
... and I feel a huge urge to show all of you close to me that I love you.
To:
Ornella, Jorunn S, Jorunn E, Mariann and Linda. My dearest and most appreciated of all of my friends. My rock solids in this world. I love you all deeply !! Thank you for being my friends, for being my foundation, for helping me when I have sad thoughts, for guiding me, for being my angels, for being there for me!
To:
My family. I love you all too! You gave me life, you created who I am, you gave me joy, you tought me all you had to give and I appreciate all you have done for me and all what you are.
To:
All my other friends: Dont feel sad because your name is not one of the ones mentioned above ! I still love you all and I still appreciate you all for what you are and what you give me. Your friendship means life to me !
I just want to end todays entry with:
You have all been part of the shaping of ME and I am so happy to have you in my life and I look foreward for our continued friendship and love, sharing memories with you and new stories, new life and I am thankful to have you all in my life.
I appreciate you all dearly and I just wanted to make a public statement about it !
September starts off with one of my best friend, Jorunn S's, birhtday party (September 2nd).
Jorunn has been my best friend since 1996 and she is a fantastic person and I have known her since before she met her housband Tor and they had their daughter Margaret. I feel they are more family than friends.
Jorunn is one of them persons you dont have to learn to love, you just do ! Or maybe this doesnt work with everyone, but it certainly worked between the two of us. When we met we kinda clicked immediately and I was never in doubt that she would be a life lasting friend since that moment.
Since then we have shared laughter and tears, joy and sorrow over these past 12 years and as far as I remember we have never once had a fight or even a quarrel beteween the two of us.
On the other hand she has been the one I have turned to when I have had problems in other aspects of my life, the one that I have turned to to get help seeing things more clearly and discuss the better solutions for solving problems.
I can never be thankful enough for her friendship. She is fantastic.
Congratulations on your special day, you one of my most appreciated friends !
September is close and as the last days of August ends, summer is officially over. Hopefully we will still have a lot of wonderful days ahead of us before the depressing winter dark and the fall storms surrounds us totally.
Some trees have branches of leafs that has started changing colors already. Although Im not so happy to see summer go, I must admit that the change of colors in this wonderful time of the year is really spectacular.
Summer was great. After all my travels I was left in a moment of stillstand and I felt kinda demotivated as I had no more trips to look fwd too, no more new people to meet at camps and just work work work. Thankfully this moment of feeling not-so-happy quickly disappeared and once again I busied up with work and CS volunteer work.
8-10 of August - Birthday celebration
August started off visiting my dad and his new family to celebrate my sister Lindas 7th birthday, That was a nice relaxing weekend and now that I discovered the fantastic way of travelling with buses with included broadband... Whats the problem any more? For some things I just LOVE this country !
Brenda visiting
August 14 Brenda arrived and stayed on/off for 10 days visiting Norway.
It was great seeing her again (speaking of the same Brenda I visited in Oxford in March and work with in MDST on CS) and awesome to host her and have her company. She is a fantastic person. She did not spend all her days in Oslo but travelled around while she was here. The best way to go.
Housewarming party at Ornella and Asbjorns new house
On Aug 16 Ornella and Asbjorn threw their house warming party. Wow What a party !! Hehehe. Great food as always, great people, lots of drinks and Salsa dancing. Hehe. Its one of the best parties I attended in Norway this summer. Nothing beats Paella party in Gossau, SG, Switzerland and Midsummernight party in the park in Utrecht, Netherlands :D but this def. came close !
Dutch party at Wendys house
Brenda came back and left again and she came back after her trip to Gothenburg and the last weekend we ended up also hosting Francesco, Flavios best friend, as he was in dispear after an uncomfortable situation at his hosts place. We were invited for a Dutch party at Wendy and Gerrits place and that was a great party where everyone had to dress orange ! Hehe. Franzs was not so thrilled about dressing orange though...
My birthday party (-ies)
End of August summed up in LOADS of b-day parties, like august always do, including my own.
On aug 27 I had 9 friends over for a lovely dinner that I spent most of the day preparing for (that also included the cleaning up pre-party), my birthday I spent speaking on the phone with the_Rachel for a few hours and friday 29 Mariann came over from England and we went out for dinner at Dolly Dimples before we went home to watch movies (Secondhand Lions) and eat snacks !! Im def. not dieting as long as I am celebrating my birthday.
Saturday 30 I had 16 people over for a great party. A huge group with people from all over. It was the close CS friends party :D France, Hawaii, Singapore, Ireland, Norway, Netherlands, Sweden, Spain and Portugal were all represented !
All was great with dancing and music and lots of nice people in a party mood, except from the water leakage under the kitchen zink :(
Sunday 31 was for resting. Mariann left after breakfast (Around 4) and I slept most of the day after this. Weather was so demotivating, raining and heavy winds.
This time its just a short summary. Hope to do more detailed blog entries again soon :D
Hugs
Summer is here and its so wonderful. Lazy afternoons spent at the beach, barbequeing with friends, movies and tanning have been well appreciated.
Temps are around 32C in the shadow. Norway now feels like some hot tropic destination and its so beautiful !!
Im really happy about this. Only thing is. I wish I had vacation !
This weekend I was in Arendal visiting my mom and Tron. My sister Ingrid and her boyfriend Christian were there too.
It started on friday as I travelled by bus to Arendal. There are some wonders in this country. One of them is the http://www.bbox.no internet ON the bus. I had so much fun while travelling. I was picked up by Tron and taken to the house. We had some fun first, then we headed to the groceries store to pick up some food for the weekend. When we came back, my mom and Tron had a birthday party to attend. A 93 year celebration. Ingrid, Christian and myself stayed at the dock and had a bbq there while the sun set. When it got colder and dark we all went inside and had a relaxing evening.
For Saturday we woke up and got ready to go to Arendal to look at the BMW Grand Prix party for Class 1 Offshore Power Boats.
We did some shopping before the race started at 3pm and it was great till the rain started pooring down.
Here is a youtube presentation made by: user powerboat170.
Direct link: See here:
After the race we went to the town mall while it still rained and then mom, Ingrid and Tron continued shopping while Christian and myself went to the car. There we both slept an hour. Myself in the back of the car and him in the front seat.
The others joined us an hour later and we all went home to make dinner. It was a nice evening and we had fun watching TV and playing cards together.
Though my body was not so fond of having become wet previous that day and I started coughing again towards the night.
Sunday I woke up with a fever. I was totally exhausted and just wanted to sleep. I was not much company for anyone. Ingrid and Christian took me to the bus stop and I went back to Oslo. Traffic was terrible and we spent like 2 hours more than normal to get in. Luckily I had Internet on the bus again and I also continued reading my book. The book thief (see switzerland entry for more info)
I got home and the cat was truly happy to have me home again. :D Awesome little creature !
After I came home from Switzerland I have felt so alone. There is such an enormous difference in spending one week with so many people and suddenly being alone again.
That has made me think of this old song: I Gave You All by Return, one of my favourite Norwegian groups back in the 80s. And Im not even a huge fan of the music of the 80s.
Words: S.Hagen, Music: S.Hagen
i feel so alone when the lights go down
when the roaring crowd has gone
walking off the stage the show is finally over
my strengh is drained my will is gone
i lay down on the empty bed
restless toughts run through my head
is it worth all this loneliness
for just one moment of bliss
chorus:
i gave you all i had tonight
all, except my soul
do you think it's strange i feel alone
the silence is so loud i'm lost within without you now
another hotel another town captured in a spell
that never can be broken it's standing on this stage
that makes me carry on
i rest my empty head
remember the crowd and what you did
giving me back the strengh to give my all
chorus
solo
chorus
i feel so alone
when the lights go down
when the roaring crowd has gone
-----------------------------------------
This feeling might also be caused by massive rainfalls and grey, depressing weather as well.
Though I already feel better than the first days after i came home and I know Ill be ok again,
but still being sick from my cold, with no appetite - I just miss having people around me. My regular friends are mostly off on vacation and people I have learned to love as my new friends are all far away. Thats the hard part of being in an international enviroment. You meet wonderful people that instantly become your good friends and that you really miss when you all separate again. Yes, Anick-Marie, Steven, Vince, Aldo, Roger, Alex, Ben, Sam, Steffi, Gunilla, Birgit, Fernando and all you other wonderful people that I love. Im talking about you!
Bless the Internet and chat tools.
But good thing about Couchsurfing is that at some party you will always see some of them again :D Some months may pass, but in the end you end up meeting them again :D In all this sad rain and loneliness - Its a wonderful world :D !!!!!
Always SOMETHING to look foreward to.
Yesterday I walked 25 kms in 4 hours. Listening to Live on my ipod (iJames) and walking at a fast pace. I must admit... I do feel quite bad today in my poor soar muscles... But it was a great walk and I kept singing where i walked all by myself and just cars passing by in the after dark hours.
This winter Ive been quite depressed for many reasons. Some ghosts have been hauting my peace but lately I have been working hard on getting rid of some ghosts in my life and Ive fallen in love with this song:
everybody has a ghost
everybody has a ghost who sings like you do
yours is not like mine
but it's alright, keep it up
boy loses rib in new orleans
he can't help eyein' up the whores
under the bridge
boy loses rib and lets a hellified cry into the dark. Where did I go wrong?
where did i go wrong?
where did i go wrong?
i never needed this before
i need a woman to help me feel - feel - feel
everybody has the dream
everybody has the dream like a world tattoo
yours is not like mine, it's alright, keep it up
the scalpel dives into the skin
good doctors never leave a scar
no proof again
i'll taake the myth, you take the blood
it's all the same to the world dreamer
it's all the same in the end
where did i go wrong?
where did i go wrong?
i never needed this before
i need a woman to help me feel - feel - feel
everybody has a ghost
everybody has a ghost who sings like you do
yours is not like mine
but it's alright, keep it up
boy loses rib in new orleans
he trades some ether for a chance
under the bridge
boy loses rib as he's summoned to the mud
flat on his back
cryin' where did i go wrong?
where did i go wrong?
where did i go wrong?
i never needed this before
i need a woman to help me feel - feel - feel
where did i go wrong? baby
i never needed this before
i need a woman to help me feel - feel - feel
Today I made delicious Salmon for dinner with creme fraiche sause. I was too tired and hungry to care for potatoes or rice. It tasted soooo great. I think Im gonna make that again pretty soon :D
Went to bed even before 10pm :D
M is for the million things she gave me, O means only that she's growing old, T is for the tears she shed to save me, H is for her heart of purest gold; E is for her eyes, with love-light shining, R means right, and right she'll always be.
Put them all together, they spell "Mother",
A word that means the world to me.
