The summer was a bit low for me after my initial period with lots of travels.
Now that fall is here.. I am really happy about how things sort out.
Work is great, actually work is more than great as Ill soon change from contracted to fixed employee and .. Ill get to travel for work. I could not be happier about this !
I will first go to Houston, Texas in USA for a month and half but then I will also be able to go to The Netherlands for some weeks working from the Zoetemeer office. How can this not be some of the best news ever ?
This last year as been high on personal development and I have gone through a lot of processes of self insight. It has been an interesting year as well as a, in periods, tough year. I have learned a lot.
I have, as i consider to be one of the most developing things, learned to dare to allow initmacy. Im not aiming the conversation in on sex here, but allowing people to give me hugs, to allow them to be close and to allow them to appreciate me without no further need for worrying about putting my feelings at risk of being hurt. And I speak of intimacy on a mental level. Allowing people I have met only a few days become part of my life story. To feel love for people I hardly know. To show love for my near and dear as well as my new friends I have gained this year. People that have painted my life to be more colorful and worthwhile.
It feels like I am waking up from a long period of hibernation, it feels like it is spring time even though fall is just starting. My soul is dancing with joy and exitement over this fall that is about to come and what life has expecting for me ! When I listen to music I want to step up and dance, to follow the rythms, to show the world I am happy. Guess that would look funny at work. *Chuckling*
4-6 weeks in Houston, 3 weeks in Netherlands, Christmas with family and the huge Couchsurfing party I am setting up hosting 110 people !!! I am exited about life, my friends and my work. I am surrounded by love from all those I meet and am surrounded by.
I talked to a friend about these thoughts yesterday and she mentioned a thing for me that I think might be true. We were talking about a completely different, but a lot more personal, matter, but it can sum up here too. I have had many years of social and personal draught without further specification, burying myself in work. I am waking up now and she said something very possible. I liked her comment.
but you know - everything in life equals out, so you have some really fat years to come :D
I am looking fwd for the next years to come, I am looking fwd for the rest of my life !
Another thing that got me thinking lately ..
I volunteer to do a lot of work for Couchsurfing.com and recently I got in touch with a mom that has lost her son in an accident last year beceause she wanted to come in touch with her sons friends and as I was handling this case.
When the contact between her and the friends was established I wasnt able to leave the communication as a solved case. I felt a special connection with her and that I had to continue writing her.
Some of you know already that my intuition can be pretty strong. Offering to be there for her was never an option. I had to do it. A voice in my heart was screaming out write to her, write to her.
Her response to my offer was astonishing and left me with tears in my eyes. In case you read this Lucy, you reached out to my soul too !
We have after this continued to write and we have written about feelings about loss and grief, life and love and it has made me think a lot these last days.
... and I feel a huge urge to show all of you close to me that I love you.
To:
Ornella, Jorunn S, Jorunn E, Mariann and Linda. My dearest and most appreciated of all of my friends. My rock solids in this world. I love you all deeply !! Thank you for being my friends, for being my foundation, for helping me when I have sad thoughts, for guiding me, for being my angels, for being there for me!
To:
My family. I love you all too! You gave me life, you created who I am, you gave me joy, you tought me all you had to give and I appreciate all you have done for me and all what you are.
To:
All my other friends: Dont feel sad because your name is not one of the ones mentioned above ! I still love you all and I still appreciate you all for what you are and what you give me. Your friendship means life to me !
I just want to end todays entry with:
You have all been part of the shaping of ME and I am so happy to have you in my life and I look foreward for our continued friendship and love, sharing memories with you and new stories, new life and I am thankful to have you all in my life.
I appreciate you all dearly and I just wanted to make a public statement about it !
I have just been to one of the most giving concerts in my life.